My Loss

My great grandmother died when I was about 8. The way she died was very sad since she was elderly when she fell down she got a splinter and couldn’t get up and died. At her funeral everyone was depressed. What is the worse of it is that my father made me feel bad if I cried that when I wanted to cry for my great grandma I found that I couldn’t and that somehow I felt delight when I didn’t want to. When I moved with my mom I cried for my great grandma for days. During those days I realized that death can happen to anyone at anytime and that my dad was and still is breaking me emotionally. I can only remember that day as the day of darkness. I wish I could’ve said goodbye to my great grandmother before she died. I was so young and don’t even remember her name she is my loss.

Photo from commons wikimedia

Photo from commons wikimedia

Abusive Power

Kids around the world are abused I am one of those kids. My parents had a divorce a couple of years ago I have gotten over the trauma, but my parents are still fighting for me and my siblings. They both decided to use different tactics, my mom treated me on any other day which I appreciate, my father however decided to suck up and buy us whatever we wanted which didn’t work so now he uses threats and guilt trips. In the courthouse my dad is someone else, that someone will bond with me, care about my feelings and all. I wanted to talk to the judge that decides all of this, but they won’t let me so this is dragged on(the longer these decisions take the more money they get from us). Whats worse is that my own lawyer Paula that both of my parents are paying for used living with my father(who I would rather meet the devil than live with) as a punishment if got in trouble at school, so the person who is supposed to help me out knows that my father does stuff he is not supposed to, but yet bribes got to her fast. Me the kid they told when I was around nine was promised my say would dictate when I’m twelve well now I am thirteen and yet still nothing. My dad when I was five years old threw me on my metal bed frame and said that he was done with me, last visit I had with him was the summer before 2015-2016 promised me when I was old enough that he would bust my teeth in after I asked him to chill out because he was late for a wedding. My brother before he was a year old had way to much mucus in his lungs and my mom took him to a hospital to get it removed after my dad said he was fine my mom stood up for my brother and saved his life, my own dad would have let my brother die before his first birthday and I would never have gotten to know how he is today.

Internet vs. reality

I communicate a lot when on the internet mainly because I am borderline ass-burgers autistic which makes me not want to communicate in person a lot or work with others. This does not make me mean or rude I can cooperate I am not a fan of it, but I can. I can get anger spikes where I get angry at something stupid, but it doesn’t happen often. But other than that I am the same with reality and internet